Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay – edited by Louise.

Small Talk, Banter and Gossip

I am not into chatting for the sake of it. Don’t get me wrong, I love to speak to people and spend time with my friends, but after a few hours, I have had enough.

Neurotypical people seem to chat together for hours and continue to have social get togethers without getting exhausted. However, for me, it is like they are on Duracell batteries and I am on the cheap unknown brand that loses charge quickly, and that is the only way I can describe it.

I am not very much into small talk because it is mentally taxing on my brain. Small talk, banter and gossip are not structured and to do with social cues, timing and tone. I love jokes, but when chat is unpredictable, it is more work.

Why Is It Difficult?

Conversations are not just about words, but also body language, facial expressions, tone and timing. These are things I find difficult, and they require a lot more processing.

I also think in facts, not necessarily about what the person wants to hear. So when someone speaks to me, I have to think, what would they want me to say so I don’t upset them. This is tiring too. However, I enjoy one-to-one conversations as I get lost in groups and end up sitting and listening rather than joining in. It is a lot at once. I just don’t always get it.

There are lots of background noises and lights along with the hum of people chatting when I am out and about. It adds to the tiredness. However, if the chatting goes on for over 2 hours, hopefully my ejector seat will not let me down 😂.

How I Love to Communicate

Communicating with family and friends is much easier than with people I am less familiar with. Family and friends are more accepting if I make mistakes and expect less of me.

I prefer shorter interactions for communicating, but I can communicate a lot longer about specific topics of interest. It is common for autistic people to want to discuss their special interests and conversations that are predictable and fact-based. This is much easier for me. It is clear with less social pressure.