If I had only known I was autistic, I would have been able to deal with situations differently. Over the years, I have felt I have been unable to deal with people in the best way that I could.

I have regrets about friendships and relationships. I have not understood why I have behaved in a certain way, or not been happy with the way things were.

Image by Vilius Kukanauskas from Pixabay

I was in a relationship with someone twenty years ago, and I was not happy. I had no reason to be unhappy because they were a great person. They were kind to me and supportive during my unhappy times, but we were very different people. They loved to socialise all the time, but it exhausted me. I wanted the occasional night in watching my favourite movie in peace and quiet.

I would not be looking to reconcile this relationship as I feel we both would have been unhappy because we wanted different things and had different goals. However, I would love to tell them they did nothing wrong. The reason I was so different from them, and had different needs, was that I am autistic.

I think they would have understood this, and there would have been less confusion about what went wrong. I could also tell them I am sorry.