There are many reasons people seek a diagnosis if they think they might be autistic. For me, I had gone through a difficult patch. I had developed hyperthyroidism (Graves Disease) and we had just come through a pandemic. I always had anxiety, but now it was coming in waves and affecting my life more than ever. I felt physically sick every night and suffered from constant headaches. Seeking advice from the doctor, I underwent a medical in the hope I would find out what was going on, but everything came back fine. One day by chance, I was searching online to learn about different possibilities such as anxiety disorders, and autism level one was one possibility where I displayed many of the traits. Anxiety is not part of the diagnostic criteria for autism, but the struggles of living in a world that is not designed for your brain creates a lot of anxiety. Never researching autism before, I thought I was an expert on the subject with having an autistic son, but it showed how ignorant I was. I had tried to make sense of what was going on with me, and I didn’t think that autism would be the result. I thought I was dying.

However, looking back over the years, it made sense. Apart from being a private music tutor, I was always underemployed. I had a folder of qualifications, but trying to get past the interview stage was a massive hurdle. When I think about preparing for interviews, I just see a blank canvas not knowing how to advertise myself to the best of my abilities. You need good social skills to show your personality, education, strengths, and positive attitude towards others.

Relationships have always been difficult. Struggling through the roles that each person has to fulfill, as well as trying to understand what each person needs.

Writing this blog is challenging as it is so difficult to put into words what I want to say to express my feelings. However, I think writing will be a healing process, and maybe it will help someone else.